Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family – in another city.
George Carlin
While I hope that cynical/funny observation doesn’t describe your tribe, it’s too true for too many families.
Regarding the basic idea, and to be technically clear, here’s my big red Webster on family:
1) all the people living in the same house (hmmm, maybe)
2) a social unit consisting of parents and the children they rear [see also NUCLEAR FAMILY] (probably truer than it intends to be)
3) a criminal syndicate under a single leader (ooookay)
Here is my definition of family:
That God-fashioned, mysterious unit into which man is designed to be born, and which his heart desires to the last breath.
And here is a marvelous truth: When a couple marry and start having babies or adopting children, and if their own family histories are less than imitable (as in, we don’t want to imitate them), that guy and girl can create a new template, a fresh legacy.
What a gift. However, that gift can become an unfocused mess if we aren’t intentional in the way we view the future, the way we parent, and how we get along with each other.
This being true, if you could design a good family (notice I did not say “great” or “perfect”), what is the One Thing that would inform your design?
It is an important question.
When my husband and I started our family, this was always uppermost in my mind: I wanted my children to know God.
I did not want anything more than that one thing: not a bigger house, not more money, not more stuff. I considered this my primary task.
Well, that was easy, you say. Your husband was a pastor and your life revolved around church. Fact is, pastor’s kids are about average when it comes to their struggles with faith: http://bit.ly/1sug21F
By the way, did I sometimes sabotage my own efforts at times with harsh words or a nasty attitude? Yes. Did I let my shortcomings derail the One Thing? No.
Good families do not happen by accident. Children do not learn to know God by accident.
These questions may help you focus:
- What is the atmosphere in my home? Is there constant, underlying tension? Are family members easily irritated with one another? Is there a continual background of electronic noise (i.e. television, computers, electronic devices, etc.)?
- If I could change one thing about our family life, what would it be? More time together? Fewer distractions?
- What is the spiritual condition of the adults in our home? Does our family pray together? Is the Bible a visible and integral part of our family life? Are we planted in a church?
Intentionally building a good family legacy starts by defining your One Thing and going after it one good decision at a time. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to grab a pen and paper or open a new word doc and get started.
Can you share one thing you could do right now to positively affect your home’s atmosphere?