If you were to describe your outlook on life, what would it be? Are you generally pleased with what you see? Do you view everything (and everyone) through the lens of, shall we say, making improvements?
I have suffered from time to time from the condition known as The Critical Eye. Things may be good, but they could be better. And I know just how to Get Things Done. Properly.
My husband will confirm this if pressed. Or just casually asked.
Of course, we (people like me—you know who you are) would not describe ourselves as “contradictory”, or as my southern grandma used to say, “contrary”. Rather, we are constructive. Making things better. Mending. Reforming.
Right.
As I read through the Book of Job, I cringe at the pseudo-constructive conversations of his “comforters”, men who Aren’t Paying Attention. A favorite commentary describes them as variously as “accusing, reproachful, mocking, rude.” Criticizers on steroids.
Maybe we haven’t been that critical, but maybe we’ve been close.
Here are some questions for when we feel an attack of disapproval coming on:
- Have I considered the positive? Regardless of the circumstances, there is always something to commend. And not as backhanded compliments either. Job’s friends do this repeatedly throughout the book. And it’s cruel.
- Do I have a servant’s heart? If changes need to be made, help find solutions. Rather than dwelling on some real or perceived misstep, we might make ourselves useful. Help repair any damage. Instead of sitting around talking for thirty-plus chapters, the visitors could have looked for ways to alleviate Job’s physical suffering. Gone after the livestock thieves. Removed Mrs. Job out of Job’s earshot.
- Am I kind? For those times when corrections should be suggested, or must be made, our words are to be seasoned with grace. Job’s friends heaped up words against him (16:4). Pitilessness and harshness? Let’s not participate in the shame of such things.
So switch lenses. Grace for criticism. Lovingkindness (what a great word!) for dissatisfaction. Hopefully, we will increase our creativity, lower our stress levels, and enlarge our ability to accomplish our goals. And leave people in our wake blessed and refreshed by our presence.