The cuts made in the bare, brown canes that stand in a tangled arch above each vine will determine, more than anything else, how much crop and of what quality will grow and, God willing, become wine on some warm afternoon next autumn

Joseph Novitski, A Vineyard Year

Hey God! It’s me! Zinfandarling! Over here in the southeast corner!

Good morning.

Will You be pruning today?

Yes, that’s why I’m here.

Great! I’m sure You remember my super crop last fall. That’s going to be a great vintage!

Yes.

So You’ll go easy with the shears, right? I mean, don’t mess with success and all that.

Hmmm. . .

Okay. Well, have You been over in the. . .hey! You’re getting pretty intense with the shears there. Are you going to thin the entire block like that?

Perhaps.

Whoa! You do realize I’m a 80 year old head-trained vine, right? A treasure?

Yes.

Well, I’m not appreciating the scalping here.

Your pride canes are thick. They’ll sap good growth in humility.

Well, have you seen those hoity-toity pinot noirs? They’re bristling like. . .

That’s not your business.

What?

That’s not your business.

But the syrahs and cabernets are. . .

Shhh.

What?

Shhh. I’m working.

But. . .OUCH! That was a big healthy spur! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

That spur was a tendency to anger. It would grow much larger and increase the risk of being knocked off, damaging your trunk.

What?

Your growth would be injured.

I’m injured now!

No, you are not.

God, I thought I was long past needing to be pruned like this.

No, you are not.

But. . .AUGHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Pruning for quality.

What?

Flavor concentration.

Have you seen the reviews? MY FLAVOR IS FINE!

My flavor is what is important.

What?

My flavor is what is important.

But, do You prune the chardonnays and sauvig. . .

That’s not your business.

(Long silence except for the sound of clipping.)

I’ll never recover.

You’ll be fine. Trust Me.

(Long silence except for the sound of more clipping.)

There will be less fruit.

There will be better fruit.

(Silence.)

All right.

Yes, it will be all right.

It’s wintertime. Pruning season. Been pruned yet? Want to share? Would love to hear your thoughts in “Leave a Reply” below.